The past week was a very interesting and exhausting week. I was having issues sleeping. I was getting about 3 1/2 - 4 hours of sleep a night. It came to a point where I was not functioning but not being able to even take a nap. After a talk with a good friend Thursday evening, I took a walk to a nearby park, laid on the ground, watched the stars appear and then had a heart to heart with myself.
Back in February, I started defining who I am in my post Defining Who I Am - Part One (of Many). I started by defining words that describe who I am or affect me. Now it is time for Part Two.
As I was laying on the grass under the stars, I realized something very important. For the past, oh probably, six months, I have been trying to fit into a mold that I couldn't fit into. It wasn't a mold that anyone else created but me.
I had set standards that I thought I wanted to be. Now I know that was not anything near what I wanted. I traded who I was for an idea of who I thought I wanted to be. I tried to conform to a new environment instead of being myself.
I am by no means saying that you shouldn't ever change. Change is good. It took me a long time to realize but change IS good. I am merely offering the advise of "Don't change everything about you at once, because then you might get yourself stuck between your own beliefs."
So for a few more words on who I am:
Adventurous: I love trying new things. Usually things others would never do and might even say I was crazy for doing (i.e.- Skydiving, getting a tattoo, bungee jumping). It's the high I get of knowing I did something many of the people I know would never try.
Outspoken: So this one is hard at times. I have always spoken my mind. The issue is it isn't always welcome. I have learned to bite my tongue. However, I realized recently that I wasn't speaking what was on my mind, especially when things were bothering me because I was afraid of the reaction I would get.
Energetic: Okay so the past week, I haven't been. If something new is happening around me or if I am asked to help out I am usually there with bells on. I mean come on, who do you know who would be excited about getting pied in the face and would where a shirt that said "Bring It"?
Rock On,
Lane J
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Today's Path: Define Who I Am - Part Two (of many)
Posted by Lane J at 6:37 PM
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2 Comments:
HUG
Way to write it out sista!
Just know that we're never "done" cookin'...we're constantly evolving and changing and morphing into ANYthing we desire to be.
You can be whatver/whoever/however you choose to be in any given moment and you don't owe ANYone an answer about it.
I am proud of you stepping into YOU!! Keep on keepin' on chica. You're doing the work. Remember to have FUN and enjoy the ride. It's all a BIG dream anyway...how you wanna play it out is all up to YOU:)
Keep PLAYing and DREAMing big Lane!!
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