Saturday, August 23, 2008

Today's Path: Define Who I Am - Part Two (of many)

The past week was a very interesting and exhausting week. I was having issues sleeping. I was getting about 3 1/2 - 4 hours of sleep a night. It came to a point where I was not functioning but not being able to even take a nap. After a talk with a good friend Thursday evening, I took a walk to a nearby park, laid on the ground, watched the stars appear and then had a heart to heart with myself.

Back in February, I started defining who I am in my post Defining Who I Am - Part One (of Many). I started by defining words that describe who I am or affect me. Now it is time for Part Two.

As I was laying on the grass under the stars, I realized something very important. For the past, oh probably, six months, I have been trying to fit into a mold that I couldn't fit into. It wasn't a mold that anyone else created but me.

I had set standards that I thought I wanted to be. Now I know that was not anything near what I wanted. I traded who I was for an idea of who I thought I wanted to be. I tried to conform to a new environment instead of being myself.

I am by no means saying that you shouldn't ever change. Change is good. It took me a long time to realize but change IS good. I am merely offering the advise of "Don't change everything about you at once, because then you might get yourself stuck between your own beliefs."

So for a few more words on who I am:

Adventurous: I love trying new things. Usually things others would never do and might even say I was crazy for doing (i.e.- Skydiving, getting a tattoo, bungee jumping). It's the high I get of knowing I did something many of the people I know would never try.

So this one is hard at times. I have always spoken my mind. The issue is it isn't always welcome. I have learned to bite my tongue. However, I realized recently that I wasn't speaking what was on my mind, especially when things were bothering me because I was afraid of the reaction I would get.

: Okay so the past week, I haven't been. If something new is happening around me or if I am asked to help out I am usually there with bells on. I mean come on, who do you know who would be excited about getting pied in the face and would where a shirt that said "Bring It"?

Rock On,
Lane J


Meredith said...


Kammie said...

Way to write it out sista!

Just know that we're never "done" cookin'...we're constantly evolving and changing and morphing into ANYthing we desire to be.

You can be whatver/whoever/however you choose to be in any given moment and you don't owe ANYone an answer about it.

I am proud of you stepping into YOU!! Keep on keepin' on chica. You're doing the work. Remember to have FUN and enjoy the ride. It's all a BIG dream you wanna play it out is all up to YOU:)

Keep PLAYing and DREAMing big Lane!!