Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Facebook and Smartphones Don't Want You in a Relationship

Today I realized Facebook really doesn't want me to ever be in a relationship. Here is why.

It happens like this, I met someone on Sunday, who upon parting ways told me to friend him on Facebook. And that is how it begins.

Facebook you have turned everything into friends. We all know that once you enter the "friend zone" it is hard to become anything more than that. Facebook has setup every possible relationship to fail from the start!

Then there is the important question of "How long do I wait to "friend" the person?" You don't want to do it immediately because then you seem desperate when you're not. Enter the smartphone.

Many people now have smartphones. I am one of them. So the person who said to "friend" them knows you have a smartphone and could friend them immediately which leads to confusion on their end.

So we find a comfortable amount of time to pass and we "friend" them, but we must wait until they accept our "friendship."

What does Facebook do next? They start displaying their family members as "People you may know" because you have friended the person you are interested in. While you might know their family members, you now have the decision of whether or not to friend them. But again there is the uncertainty of, yes, you know the family member and could friend them, but does that scare the person you are interested in?

And thanks to Facebook chat you know whether or not the person is online while you are online. Enter another confusing moment. Do they notice you're online? Do they see you and are having the same thoughts of whether or not to chat with you?

Thank you Facebook and smartphones, you have made relationships more complicated than ever before.


David DeMello said...


From the other side, I have asked people to friend me for purely platonic or professional reasons and when they don't comply I start to think, "oh no, I have somehow given them the wrong impression." and that is just way too awkward. In reality they are just dealing with life and haven't seen my request, or they have but they're just not in a clicking mood or whatever.

It's about now that I'm reminded once again of the degree to which The Stream perpetuates the illusion that I am the center of all attention.

By the way, I just followed you on Twitter.

Just sayin...

Lisa Byrne said...

The worst part is that once you are "friends" it takes all the romance out of dating. You know too much, you prejudge, and that's the end of a could be romance!

New rule: never talk facebook friending, if he/she is worthy give out a phone number and let the texting begin ;)